Being allowed to meet a dog is one of life’s little joys.
Cali (my dog) is, objectively, one of the cutest dogs around. She’s spotted and friendly, naturally social with dark eyes, and tends to draw attention wherever we go. In the two years, since she’s been in our life, I’ve lost count of how many strangers have wanted to stop and say hello to her.
I’m, generally, happy to let people meet her, but after watching interaction after interaction, one thing has become pretty clear: most people don’t actually know how to properly approach and meet a dog. That’s not to say everyone is rude. It’s just not something most of us were taught.
So here’s a simple mini-guide to meeting dogs the right way, whether you’re a lifelong dog person or just someone who can’t resist saying hi to every dog you come across (me).
Always Ask Permission First
Before you reach for someone’s dog, ask the person holding the leash. Every single time, no exceptions.
Not every owner is comfortable with strangers approaching their dog, and they aren’t required to give you a reason why. Some dogs are in training. Some are anxious around new people. A simple “Can I say hi to your dog?” takes two seconds and makes the whole interaction easier for everyone.
Think of it this way: you wouldn’t walk up and touch a stranger’s child without acknowledging the parent first. The same courtesy applies here.
What NOT to Do When You Meet a Dog
Once you have the owner’s permission, there are a few common instincts to avoid because even well-meaning gestures can feel threatening to a dog who doesn’t know you.
Be calm and quiet. No quick movements, stress, or loud noises. Dogs feel your emotions, so if you remain relaxed and your vibe is friendly, they’ll know you’re not a threat to them and feel more relaxed.
Don’t make direct eye contact. A prolonged stare can come across as a challenge or threat to a dog. Looking slightly away is safer and more reassuring.
Don’t lean or hover over them. This is the number one thing both me and Cali hate that people do when meeting her! Standing tall and bending over a dog can feel scary and intimidating from their perspective. Getting lower, at a slight angle (not directly in front of them), is a much better position for saying hi to a furry friend.
Don’t stick your hand out for a sniff. It seems polite and gentle, but a hand suddenly appearing in a dog’s face can feel very invasive. Let them come to you instead.
Read the signs of discomfort or fear in dogs. When a dog is feeling uncomfortable, it can look like the following: ears pinned back, tail tucked low, crouched posture, or turning and backing away. If you notice any of these fear signals from the dog, give them space and discontinue the interaction.
5 Basic Steps for Meeting a Dog
When you get the green light from the owner, here’s how to approach:
- Be calm and get low. Slow your movements, and crouch down. Ideally, a little to the side, rather than directly in front of the dog. A less head-on angle is less confrontational.
- Let the dog come to you. Be still and patient, and let the dog approach you on their own terms. This may take a moment, and that’s okay. Dogs move toward what interests them when they feel safe, so let them make that choice.
- Avoid direct eye contact. You can look at the dog generally, but not a with a direct, sustained stare. Doing this continues to signal that you’re not a threat.
- Pet in the right spots. If the dog seems relaxed, try lightly petting their chest, under the chin, or along the back. Avoid reaching over them or petting the top of their head, as most dogs find that uncomfortable, even if they tolerate it.
- Keep paying attention. Stay tuned in to how the dog is feeling throughout the introduction. A relaxed, loose body is a good sign. Stiffness, low growl, or pulling away means it’s time to calmly give them space. The dog is communicating how they’re feeling, so use their clues as a guide.
A Note About Children Meeting Dogs
I’ve found that most children, if not all, don’t know how to safely approach a dog. But, more importantly, I find it concerning that parents haven’t taught their children how to be safe around dogs. Multiple times, children have run up to Cali, with no warning, literally charging her. Now, Cali is incredibly sweet and gentle, but it’s still scary for her when someone runs directly at her….dogs, kids, adults, etc.
If this same situation happened with a less tolerant dog, your child could be bitten, or worse. It’s so dangerous for kids to run towards a strange dog. Please use this guide to teach your kids the “rules” of meeting someone’s dog or tell them to avoid strange dogs altogether.
Meet a Dog. Make a Friend.
Dogs communicate almost entirely through body language. When we miss these important signals, even with good intentions, we can put dogs in a situation that feels overwhelming or unsafe.
Approaching a dog thoughtfully is relatively simple, but it does require slowing down and paying closer attention. When you get it right, dogs respond in a positive way. Cali, for one, warms up quickly to people who let her set the pace.
Next time you spot a dog you’d like to meet, ask first, stay calm, and let the dog lead the introduction. It makes the whole experience better for all involved.
If you’ve had a negative or an especially positive experience meeting a dog, please share your story with us in the comments below.
